September 6, 2016 / Posted by: Allison

Almost two months ago, Gretchen Carlson (seen above looking like she’s posing for her ConservativeMingle.com profile picture) dropped a sexual harassment lawsuit into the laps of former Fox News chairman (and current Trump employee) Roger Ailes and her former employers at Fox News. Gretchen accused Roger of a mountain of inappropriate stuff, like repeatedly suggesting sex times and allegedly firing her when she refused. Thankfully there will be no courtroom trial in which a prosecutor will hold up a package of raw ground hamburger and ask Roger to show where he asked people to touch him. Vanity Fair says that Gretchen has settled her lawsuit and it only cost 21st Century Fox $20 million.

Both Gretchen and 21st Century Fox released a statement earlier today about their decision to settle, and Fox’s statement comes with an apology. Gretchen posted both statements on her personal website. Here’s Gretchen’s statement:

I am gratified that 21st Century Fox took decisive action after I filed my Complaint. I’m ready to move on to the next chapter of my life in which I will redouble my efforts to empower women in the workplace. I want to thank all the brave women who came forward to tell their own stories and the many people across the country who embraced and supported me in their #StandWithGretchen. All women deserve a dignified and respectful workplace.

And here’s 21st Century Fox’s statement:

21st Century Fox is pleased to announce that we have settled Gretchen Carlson’s lawsuit. During her tenure at Fox News, Gretchen exhibited the highest standards of journalism and professionalism. She developed a loyal audience and was a daily source of information for many Americans. We are proud that she was part of the Fox News team. We sincerely regret and apologize for the fact that Gretchen was not treated with the respect and dignity that she and all of our colleagues deserve. We know Gretchen will be successful in whatever endeavors she chooses in the future.

Shortly after it was revealed that Gretchen Carlson had settled her lawsuit against the grab-ass enthusiast, Roger Ailes fan girl Greta Van Susteren announced on Facebook that she had quit her job at Fox News last week.

Besides Greta’s Facebook statement, no other reason for her leaving has been given. But let’s just say I wouldn’t be surprised if she was suddenly hired to head up Trump’s Make America’s Money Great Again initiative.

Gretchen never specified how much compensation she was looking for in her lawsuit, but the number she and 21st Century Fox reportedly settled on was $20 million. Add that to the $40 million Fox News reportedly gave Roger Ailes to go away, and whatever severance cash they gave to Greta, and it sounds like 21st Century Fox had a very expensive summer. That’s not even including the $50 million former Fox News host Andrea Tantaros is asking for her in her sexual harassment lawsuit against Roger Ailes and others at Fox News.

If I was an employee at Fox News (there but for the grace of god go I), this would be where I’d start hoarding toilet paper and pens. Dropping $60 million in shush money is definitely going to affect the budget for office and production supplies. I just really hope someone remembers to hit the “record” button on their phone when Bill O’Reilly is informed that the hair and makeup department have been forced to downgrade to a cheaper hairspray and anti-shine powder.