Campus Talk 1969 vs. 2014

source: mycampustalk

Scenario 1: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1969 – Mark shares aspirin with principal out on the smoking dock.
2009 – Police called. Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. Car is searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario 2: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor’s car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1969 – Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman.
2009 – Billy’s dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy
is placed in foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist convinces
Billy’s sister that she remembers being abused herself, and their dad
goes to prison. Billy’s mom has affair with psychologist.

Scenario 3: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1969 – Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best friends.
2009 – Police called. SWAT team arrives. Johnny and
Mark are arrested and charged with assault. Both are expelled even
though Johnny started it.

Scenario 4: Jeffrey won’t be still in class, disrupts other students.
1969 – Jeffrey sent to office and given a good
paddling by the principal. He returns to class, sits still and does not
disrupt class again.
2009 – Jeffrey is diagnosed with ADD and given huge
doses of ritalin. Becomes a zombie. School gets extra money from state
because Jeffrey has a learning disability.

Scenario 5: Johnny
falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found
crying by his teacher, Heather. Heather hugs him to comfort him.
1969 – In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2009 – Heather is accused of being a sexual predator
and loses her job. She faces three years in state prison. Johnny
undergoes five years of therapy.

Scenario 6: Pedro fails high school English.
1969 – Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2009 – Pedro’s cause is taken up by state. Newspaper
articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a
requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class-action lawsuit
against state school system and Pedro’s English teacher. English banned
from core curriculum. Pedro is given a diploma anyway but ends up mowing
lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario 7: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1969 – Vice principal comes over to look at Jack’s shotgun. He goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2009 – School goes into lock down, and FBI is called.
Jack is hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again.
Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario 8: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a fire ant bed.
1969 – Ants die.
2009 – Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms,
Homeland Security and FBI called. Johnny is charged with domestic
terrorism. The FBI investigates parents; siblings are removed from home;
computers confiscated. Johnny’s dad goes on a terror watch list and is
never allowed to fly again. PETA gets involved.

Posted by

Georg Grey

at
6:19 AM


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